Like a child, I fumble around with a couple weapons, not sure of what they do or how to use them. I was absolutely unaware of the true life changing power than has been placed in my hands. Independently each weapon serves a purpose, yet remained in the hands of an unskilled and untrained child. Sure… Each weapon has specific uses and served me, yet alone each one is somewhat unimpressive. This maybe cause each weapons served… me. Still… untrained and unskilled remains the challenge.
It takes years of training to align my heart, mind, soul, and strength into a useable format. Learning my body, conditioning my mind, digging deep within my soul, and pouring my strength into every remaining void. This level of commitment is bordering on obsession, yet is polarized in the direction of passion.
Leave it to me to take something to the extreme.
It takes time to learn about prayer. What it is. What it does. Who it serves. Yes, prayer is a slow and painful weapon to learn. The results are somewhat minimal to the eye and ears. I had to really experience prayer to see the small results the returned from the effort. Still, there was a lot of effort. Many hours and thoughts wrapped up in the application of prayer. WOW… I must be crazy. Alas, prayer is what it is. Alone it is simply prayer. Pleading with You for something or about something. The question is… why listen to my prayer? Is my prayer any greater than another? Again, prayer alone is the request of a child. Does a child have a true voice in the house? Sure, if there is some heart expressed pain and suffering. Still, it is simply prayer.
It takes time to learn about fasting. Again… what is it? Why do it? I have low blood sugar. I can't live without food. I get grumpy. Blaa… Blaa… Blaa… This is children talking. But I have a medical condition. Blaa… Blaa… Blaa. You brought Jesus back from the dead, I think you can handle any medical condition some doctor might have diagnosed. I am done with excuses… They are stumbling blocks to keep me from experiencing the weapon of fasting You have given to those that seek to be like You.
Ok… So I fasted. It sucked. I fasted routinely… it sucked routinely. I fasted for thirty plus days… I hated my life. Yet, I found something interesting in all of these attempts to wield this weapon. I became bold. My life was simply that… just life. I started seeing what You were attempting to show me about fasting. Still… I have been using it as child's play. I use it and learn the power of it. It has shown me things that truly hurt. Pains I never want to experience again. Fasting releases the beast within me. I am unable to control this beast that lies just beneath the surface.
The beast that came out hurt someone I love dearly. An innocent person that has done nothing wrong. This fast was akin to playing with a gun and someone getting shot. Yes, It sucked. Still sucks to this day. Right now… it sucks. I guess this is why fasting is avoided by Your people. It is a weapon that can inflict damage on many people in my area. This is why I and many others choose to leave this "loaded gun" alone.
Independently fasting and prayer are simply that… fasting and prayer. A true master will suit up for battle. A true master will be skilled in every part of their heart, mind, and soul along with all the strength they can muster. Become committed… sold out… simply obsessed with You. Stop drinking the kool-aid and become the kool-aid. Sold out… every inch of my body and being totally for You.
There is a spiritual war!
- A soldier suits up with Your full armor.
- A warrior suits up and grab weapons.
- A Master Warrior becomes one with all that You give.